Stop...

Listen...

What's that sound?

The Bat-Eared Fox is the unprofessed Hearo of the African Savannah. This nocturnal bat fox trails herds of hoofed animals to feed on the insects that feed on excrement. Ginormous ears let them hear termites, dung beetles and other underground creepy crawlies.  That’s some superpower.

Meowch.

The ultra elusive, uber evasive, super rare Bornean Bay Cat had never been seen by a living human until a specimen was captured alive (above) in 1992. The nocturnal cat species lives only on the island of Borneo and due to rapidly increasing deforestation, a population of less than 2500 is estimated!

Cat. At bay. In Borneo.

Photo via Mongabay

Bottoms up!

Celebes Crested Macaques are real swingers. We mean that in both the literal and figurative sense. This monkey lives only in the forests of the northeast portion of Sulawesi plus other tiny neighboring islands in Indonesia where we’re pretty sure they all know each other. Despite the population density, they’re very promiscuous: males and females mate various times with various partners. When the female is in heat, her buttocks turn red and swell to an anatomically disproportionate volume. This makes for an exemplary creepy animal.

More cushion for the pushin'.

Photos via Flickr and Northrup Photography

"Do or do not... there is no try." Uh, try creepy as hell, Yoda.

Some say the wiseness of Yoda is unparalleled in the universe. Others say bats are just mice with wings and have the intelligence level of a rock. Now there’s a creepy animal that proves everyone wrong: meet the Yoda Bat. This tube-nosed bat was discovered in 2009 during an expedition to a remote mountain range in Papua New Guinea. The bat uses its creepy facial protuberance to locate delicious fruit. It also does an excellent job resembling a certain sage Jedi:

Photo via Piotr Nasrecki/Conservation International and Flickr

This is just rong.

You know something’s up when you’re smelling a fresh bag of piping hot microwave popcorn in the middle of a steamy rainforest in Southeast Asia. Chances are you’re near a Binturong, a civet-like animal that dwells in the forest canopy eating fruit and small animals.

The Binturong has scent glands near its tail that produce a musk often compared to ‘warm buttered popcorn,’ corn chips and cornbread. Who’s hungry now?

Why so serious? Oh. Nevermind.

The Tibetan Fox roams the remote, parched earth of the tibetan plateau. This highly capable carnivore does a fantastic job of snatching small mammals with sharp teeth while appearing unapologetically smug. It also enjoys ample rest and relaxation in its burrow and no, it’s not impressed with this blog.

Photo via Milo Burcham

A horn grows through the upper lip of this whale. This calls for a haiku.

narwhals are special,

unicorns of the arctic,

one tusk, sometimes two

Double tusk all the way. It's so beautiful.

Photo via National Geographic and jangeisler

Neither a bush, nor a dog.

You know that feeling you get when something you’ve never seen before seems really, oddly familiar? Meet the Bush Dog. Could be a bear, badger, or fox depending on the angle. Either way, it’s creepy. These little Dogs of the Bush populate forests all over Central/South America eating small mammals and such. Despite an extensive range, only 15,000 remain.

Photo via Nicola Williscroft

Thinking about delicious crickets or contemplating suicide?

This creepy cutie is the Tarsier. Want to take one home and pet it? Too bad for you. It would rather kill itself. Tarsiers have never been successful in captivity: when caged, they often injure and even commit suicide due to stress. Head-bashing against a hard surface is the preferred method.

Other than that, these nocturnal mammals populate the islands of southeast asia and feast on insects after stunning em’ with their long middle fingers. The third finger is so long, it’s the same length and its forearm. Even creepier, their eyes are fixed in their skulls so they can only look straight ahead. Good thing they can turn their necks 180 degrees.

Eye sockets or eye pockets? Debatable.

Photo via Tribung Pinoy

Many thanks to dear reader Sarah, who brought this darling little creep to our attention.

Creepiness is just a hop, skip and jump away.

This creepy-cum-cuddly creature’s oversized ears, snub nose and innocent beady eyes instantly recall memories of cute-overload cartoon characters. Then you realize that the Jerboa is actually a relative of the rat that can hop faster than you can run and easily top a full-grown man in one jump with its ‘roo-like legs. Adding to the shiver factor is the fact that it walks upright and uses its tail as a prop…a third leg, if you will. Inhabiting desert-like regions of Asia and Africa, it does not drink water but survives on moisture from its diet of insects and seeds…or produced by its own metabolism.

Not surprisingly, the shy, solitary and nocturnal Jerboa was filmed in the wild for the first time only a few years ago and was identified by the London Zoo as one of the 100 most evolutionarily distinct and endangered mammals in the world. Not just another rat is it?