Creepy Animals

Oct 3 2010

Animal Anomaly: Turtles with Constricted Shells

Turtle shell constricted by plastic milk jug ring.

Milk jug ring: the real no-diet diet.

These two turtles experienced a different kind of plastic surgery. When they were wee turtlettes, they crawled through plastic waste that stuck to their small shells, holding them captive to the ring’s circumference and inhibiting proper growth. As they got older, their exoskeletons amazingly grew around the plastic rings! Man messes with Nature. Nature messes with Man.

Obligatory PSA: Cut plastic rings before discarding. Prevent yet another turtle from turning into a creepy animal:

Turtle shell constricted by plastic soda can rings.

Another method of controlling one's waistline.

6 Comments

• Deformities • Reptile

Sep 17 2010

Unapologetically Creepy: Cyclocosmia Spider

The trap door spider = abomination of mother Earth and scourge of the insect world.

Wow. Seriously, Nature? You've really outdone yourself with this spider.

Love strange creatures? Hungry for more? Try this recipe for the creepalicious Cyclocosmia Spider:

Ingredients:
- 1 small size spider
- 1/2 fresh coconut, flesh removed
- 1 large ancient Andean coin
- secrets

Directions: Select a location in the Florida Panhandle. In a large hole, combine ingredients and let sit for awhile. Carefully remove top soil. The Cyclocosmia Spider should be firm to touch and ready to scare the bejesus out of you. Serves 1.

Enjoy!

6 Comments

• Insect • Weird As Hell

Sep 1 2010

Narwhal

A horn grows through the upper lip of this whale. This calls for a haiku.

narwhals are special,

unicorns of the arctic,

one tusk, sometimes two

Double tusk all the way. It's so beautiful.

Photo via National Geographic and jangeisler

12 Comments

• Deformities • Mammal • Rare

Aug 30 2010

Rare: Bush Dog

Neither a bush, nor a dog.

You know that feeling you get when something you’ve never seen before seems really, oddly familiar? Meet the Bush Dog. Could be a bear, badger, or fox depending on the angle. Either way, it’s creepy. These little Dogs of the Bush populate forests all over Central/South America eating small mammals and such. Despite an extensive range, only 15,000 remain.

Photo via Nicola Williscroft

1 Comment

• Mammal • Rare

Aug 26 2010

Tarsier

Thinking about delicious crickets or contemplating suicide?

This creepy cutie is the Tarsier. Want to take one home and pet it? Too bad for you. It would rather kill itself. Tarsiers have never been successful in captivity: when caged, they often injure and even commit suicide due to stress. Head-bashing against a hard surface is the preferred method.

Other than that, these nocturnal mammals populate the islands of southeast asia and feast on insects after stunning em’ with their long middle fingers. The third finger is so long, it’s the same length and its forearm. Even creepier, their eyes are fixed in their skulls so they can only look straight ahead. Good thing they can turn their necks 180 degrees.

Eye sockets or eye pockets? Debatable.

Photo via Tribung Pinoy

Many thanks to dear reader Sarah, who brought this darling little creep to our attention.

2 Comments

• Endangered • Mammal

Jun 27 2010

Jerboa

Creepiness is just a hop, skip and jump away.

This creepy-cum-cuddly creature’s oversized ears, snub nose and innocent beady eyes instantly recall memories of cute-overload cartoon characters. Then you realize that the Jerboa is actually a relative of the rat that can hop faster than you can run and easily top a full-grown man in one jump with its ‘roo-like legs. Adding to the shiver factor is the fact that it walks upright and uses its tail as a prop…a third leg, if you will. Inhabiting desert-like regions of Asia and Africa, it does not drink water but survives on moisture from its diet of insects and seeds…or produced by its own metabolism.

Not surprisingly, the shy, solitary and nocturnal Jerboa was filmed in the wild for the first time only a few years ago and was identified by the London Zoo as one of the 100 most evolutionarily distinct and endangered mammals in the world. Not just another rat is it?

1 Comment

• Mammal

Jun 14 2010

Chinese Water Deer

Deer Xing?

Creepyanimals.com proudly presents the Chinese Water Deer. Cue images of an asian Bambi, prancing around tall reeds, munching on sweet grasses, swimming in rivers and kissing toadstools. Closeup on those doe eyes…wait! What are those fangs doing there? Nobody said this was vampire horror!

It isn’t, but close. In times of defense, the weapon of choice for the Chinese Water Deer is not antlers (it has none), rather it’s two downward pointing canines. While its name suggests a presence in China, an introduced population in Britain puts those suckers to good use.

Many thanks to Lauren, who emailed us with this exemplary specimen of creepy.

3 Comments

• Mammal

May 26 2010

Animal Anomaly: One-eyed Kitten

Another example of the creepy-cute paradox? The evidence is before your eyes.

It was 2005 in Redmond, Oregon. Late one cold December night, a small kitten was born with just one eye, no nose and no eyelid. He was christened Cy (short for Cyclops) and passed away just one day later. Cy’s unique appearance was caused by a form of holoprosencephaly, a brain development disorder that can cause cyclopia – the failure of eyes to properly separate.

12 Comments

• Deformities • Domestic • Mammal

May 14 2010

Geoduck

Nice manicure.

Oyster and clams are nature’s original finger food. Jam it open, pocket the jewels and slurp down the goodness. And nature, being the good stewardess she is, sometimes asks you if you want to supersize that. Of course, nature is also a prankster, because next thing you know, you get handed a geoduck and the bivalve is eating you.

The Geoduck, pronounced “gooey duck”, can grow up to three feet long and outlive the most persistent of humans. This strange and delicious animal also possesses a disproportionate amount of cultural cachet. It not only stars in a clam-themed thriller, it is also the sports mascot of Evergreen university. It’s like the Justin Bieber of clams, just a mop top away from trending everyday on Twitter.

4 Comments

• Edible

May 7 2010

Saiga

The Saga of the Saiga: creepy, but dwindling.

If animals were made of Lego-like pieces that you could wedge together, the Saiga is something an unscrupulous child would put together. Let’s see here: I’ll take the nose of an anteater, the legs of a paraplegic baby deer and let me mount these two carrots as a headpiece. Great, now let me run it over with my train set.

Sadly, this ungulate is critically endangered, all because some ancient culture’s mixed drink recipe included Saiga horns as an ingredient. As a result, these proudly-creepy creatures are running around the steppes of Mongolia with GPS units attached, hoping to attract mates while looking like cyborg-sheep-anteater-goat-vegetables. We wish them the best of luck in their reproductive endeavors.

[Photo via Spectacular Planet]

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